Starting Over at 46: Why I'm Selling Almost Everything and Moving to New Orleans

Starting Over at 46: Why I’m Selling Almost Everything and Moving to New Orleans

This past Friday, I had my going away party.

And I am loved.

I knew that already.

But there was something about being in a room filled with people who came specifically to celebrate me, love on me, and wish me well as I prepare to leave Cleveland and start over in New Orleans that made me feel it differently.

At one point, everyone went around the room and shared how they met me.

Some of the women there have been my friends for years.

Others met me through my company and the work I have done over the years.

And what was especially beautiful was realizing that some of these women now have friendships with each other because I brought them together.

I looked around that room and thought:

Damn. Look at all this love.

My friends Liz, Denise, and Danielle brought cupcakes and flowers and made everything beautiful.

Erica made sure Beyoncé was playing all night because, obviously.

People brought gifts.

They hugged me.

They celebrated me.

As someone who believes deeply that our friends can become our chosen family, it meant more to me than I can probably put into words.

I am leaving Cleveland.

But I am not leaving unloved.

You Can Love a Life and Still Know You’ve Outgrown It

That is something I am learning as I prepare for this move.

Sometimes we think starting over requires us to hate where we have been.

I do not.

I have built an entire life in Cleveland.

I raised my children here.

I bought a home here.

I built my business here.

I created friendships and community here.

There are versions of me all over this city.

And now my babies are in college.

I am 46.

Something in me knows:

It is time.

I have wanted to leave Cleveland for a long time.

I have been waiting for my children to get settled into college so I could give myself permission to ask a question I have not always had the space to ask:

What do I want now?

The answer is leading me to New Orleans.

I have visited four times, and every time I have been there, the city has felt like home.

Last October, I was flying into New Orleans to host my Grown Ass Woman Retreat.

As the plane descended, I felt this overwhelming sense of joy.

And I heard Spirit say:

“You’re home.”

I have carried that moment with me ever since.

So no, I am not leaving Cleveland because there was nothing beautiful here.

You can love a life and still know you have outgrown it.

Starting Over in Your 40s Can Look Different

Here is where starting over at 46 gets a little interesting.

I am selling or giving away almost everything I own.

Yep.

I am keeping what is important to me and taking whatever I can fit in my car.

That is it.

I am not packing up a moving truck.

I am not taking an entire household from Cleveland and recreating it in New Orleans.

And I am not even moving directly into an apartment when I get there.

I am going to Airbnb hop for a while.

I want to experience different neighborhoods.

I want to notice what feels good to me.

I want to travel to some other places, too.

More than anything, I do not want to be tied down right now.

That feels significant for me.

Because I have been responsible for a very long time.

I got married young.

Had children young.

Had a mortgage young.

There has almost always been something or someone I was responsible for.

And if you know me, you know I usually want a plan.

I want to know where I am going, what we are doing when we get there, and probably have a backup plan in case Plan A starts acting stupid.

But I am in a season of growth and expansion.

This time, I do not need to have the entire next chapter figured out before I am willing to turn the page.

That may be one of the biggest lessons in starting over after 40.

You do not need a five year plan to honor what you know today.

You need enough courage to take the next honest step.

What If You Did Not Rush to Fill the Empty Space?

I think that is part of what makes starting over in midlife uncomfortable for so many of us.

We rush to fill the space.

We end one relationship and immediately wonder when we will meet someone else.

We leave one career and feel pressure to know exactly what the next one will be.

We move and think we need to immediately establish another permanent home.

We release an old identity and then panic because we do not have a new one ready to replace it.

But what if the space is not a problem?

What if the space is the point?

That is what I want to explore in this next season of my life.

I do not want to immediately fill every opening.

I want room to just be.

To explore.

To travel.

To listen to myself.

To discover what feels good.

To decide what freedom actually means for me now.

Because the woman moving to New Orleans is not the same woman who built her life in Cleveland.

And I want the space to meet her.

I Am Curious About the Woman I Am Becoming

That is probably what excites me most about relocating to New Orleans.

Of course I am excited about the city.

But I am even more excited about getting to know this next version of Siobhan.

Who am I with this much freedom?

What do I like now?

What do I want now?

How do I want my days to feel?

What happens when I am no longer making decisions based primarily on responsibility, familiarity, or what makes the most sense on paper?

I do not know all the answers.

And surprisingly, I am okay with that.

I feel like I am on the cusp of something I cannot quite put my finger on.

I have outgrown my hometown.

I have raised my children.

I have built a business.

I have created community.

I have lived some beautiful chapters here.

I have also spent years coaching women through their own becoming, helping them unlearn good girl conditioning, choose themselves, and define freedom on their own terms.

Now I am living the work in a very visible way.

Not because I have everything figured out.

Because I do not.

But because grown ass woman energy is not about having certainty before you move.

It is about trusting yourself enough to move while some things are still unfolding.

Apparently, Starting Over Also Requires Recovery Time

Now listen.

Before we make this whole thing deep and spiritual, there was also an after party.

Because apparently having a beautiful, sentimental going away party surrounded by people who love you was not enough.

We went to a lounge.

We danced.

We partied.

There were shots.

And then there were some more shots.

And maybe some more shots.

We had a time.

At 46, I can confidently report that while I am still perfectly capable of partying, my body would like advance notice and approximately 72 business hours for recovery.

I spent the rest of the weekend resting.

And you know what?

Worth it.

Because part of creating a life that feels good to me is allowing myself to actually live the damn thing.

Starting Over Does Not Mean You Failed

I have been thinking about what 26 year old Siobhan would say if she could see me now.

Forty six.

Selling my stuff.

Putting whatever fits in my car.

Driving to New Orleans.

No permanent apartment waiting for me.

Planning to Airbnb hop until I decide what feels right.

She would probably think I had lost my damn mind.

But I also think she needs to see me do it.

She needs to know that it is okay to start over as many times as you need to.

That you do not have to have everything figured out.

That changing your mind is allowed.

That freedom gets to mean something different in different seasons of your life.

And that starting over does not mean you failed at the life you had.

Sometimes a chapter can be beautiful, meaningful, and complete.

You do not have to burn your whole life down to admit that you are ready for something new.

Sometimes you simply know:

There is more for me.

And you choose yourself enough to go find out what it is.

Ready to Choose Yourself?

Maybe your version of choosing yourself does not look like selling almost everything you own and moving across the country.

Maybe it is a conversation you have been avoiding.

A boundary you need to set.

A decision you have been afraid to make.

A desire you keep talking yourself out of.

Or maybe you do not even know what you want yet.

You just know the life you are living does not completely feel like yours anymore.

That is okay.

You do not have to have the whole thing figured out.

You can start by telling yourself the truth.

You can start by making space.

You can start by choosing you.

Join me for the free Choose Yourself Masterclass, where we will talk about why choosing yourself can feel so damn hard, how conditioning keeps us putting ourselves last, and what it looks like to trust yourself enough to create a life that actually feels like yours.

You have waited long enough to put yourself first.

Choose the version of your life that feels true.